Adventures in Lossnor
by Adiva Calandia
Summary: What's this? The Fellowship in 2002? Now Annalise and Kathryn have to get them back before school starts! May have been done before, but here's a new one. PG-13 for language and cuz I'm cautious. Co-written. UPDATED! Chp. 8 co-written
1. Chapter 1 Introductions

WARNING!!! WARNING!!! WARNING!!! This is blatant self-insertion. However, I will do my absolute best to make this an original story, despite the female character being essentially. . . well, me. If the character starts being too perfect, TELL ME, FOR GOD'S SAKE.  
  


"Gandalf!" yelled Frodo, stumbling. The Rider closed in on him. Aragorn began to rush forward, knowing that he would be too late. The others milled about in confusion, wanting to help, but not knowing how.

Gandalf raised his staff, shouting. The words of power filled the air. The Fellowship was momentarily blinded by a flash of light, and they knew no more.

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Annalise Huggins smacked the keyboard. The computer wouldn't work- not at all. Maybe there was a power surge or something, she thought. There had been that flash of light a minute ago. But the lights were still working- weren't they?

She stood up and stretched her five foot frame, stepping to the light switch. They were currently off- what use was there of lights during the summer in Alaska? This was the land of the Midnight Sun, after all. She flipped the switch. 

Nothing happened. She swore and flipped it up and down again. Still nothing. So, it had definitely been a power surge. Or something.

She sighed and stepped back to the computer, deciding to reboot it. Maybe that would help. Making a frustrated noise in her throat, she sat down at the computer. She had been engrossed in a fan-fiction, and now she wasn't sure she would be able to find it again.

Annalise was a Lord of the Rings fan. Her friends, in recent months, had taken to calling her Ann Baggins, after her hobbit-like looks. She did nothing to discourage it- in fact, she asked people to call her that.

She stretched again and decided to grab something to eat while the computer re-booted. The basement apartment she rented had a small kitchenette, a living room, and her bedroom, but that was about it. She opened the door to the hallway.

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Aragorn awoke first, a headache threatening to overwhelm him. He pushed it aside and stood, his Ranger's training taking over. A moment later he was joined by Gandalf, who seemed less affected by the spell than Aragorn had been. The rest of the Fellowship was lying on the ground, unconscious. Legolas and Boromir were stirring.

Aragorn glared at Gandalf. 'Nicely done, wizard, knocking out nine people with one spell.' Gandalf muttered, and the two set about reviving the rest of the group.

Within a few minutes, all nine were sitting up with varying degrees of headaches. The hobbits were still fairly out of it, so the five warriors decided to let them be. They had drawn weapons. 

The door at the end of the hallway they were in began to open, and everyone tensed. Legolas stretched his bow and aimed it at the door, while Aragorn and Boromir readied their swords. Gandalf hung slightly back, sword drawn and staff in hand.

The door opened farther, revealing a..... a hobbit?

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Ann gasped at the arrow pointed at her face and the drawn swords.

She promptly fainted.

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Aragorn started to step forward, but Gandalf stopped him. He sheathed his sword as he gazed down at the girl, staff pointed at her, his free hand spread over her body. After a moment he turned back.

'It is safe,' he said. 'Go on.'

Aragorn stepped forward and sheathed his own sword. He bent over the girl and propped her up. A water flask came off his belt, and he held it to her slack lips, tilting her head back. After a moment, she coughed and spluttered, reviving. Aragorn stepped back, hand on his hilt.

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Ann's eyes fluttered open to an odd scene. Five men stood there, one with sword sheathed, two with a swords out, and one with bow and arrow. The other was short and bearded with an axe. All were tensed up, ready to fight if necessary, but none of them seemed to be about to jump her. Her eyes traveled back to the four kids standing behind them.

Her heart seemed to jolt and she felt like she might faint again. No. . . . It flat out couldn't be possible. She was crazy. She was dreaming. No, when she dreamt, she didn't feel faint. But still. . . .

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The girl was staring wide eyed at the hobbits. Frodo nervously patted his breast pocket, making sure that the Ring was safe and out of sight.

Aragorn decided to try and reason with her, to confirm that she was not dangerous. "Please excuse the intrusion, Lady." He said in Elvish.

She blinked. Obviously she hadn't understood.

'Try the common tongue,' suggested Gimli. Aragorn nodded.

'Can you understand me?' He asked in Westron.

Her eyes widened. "Say that again," she said, voice trembling. Her language seemed to be some form of Rhorrim- an odd dialect, but understandable.

'Can you understand me,' repeated Aragorn. The girl was staring off into space, eyes glassy.

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It was the language of time long past, she knew. But still. . . her mother had sang a song in that language, many years ago. It all came rushing back to her. Or. . . rushing forward, as a language she had never heard before came to her. 

'Yes,' she whispered. 'I can.'

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'You can?' Asked Aragorn, somewhat surprised. 'Good. Now then, Lady, where are we?'

'Anchorage,' she replied, 'Alaska. But that won't do you any good.'

Aragorn glanced at Gandalf, puzzled by the strange names. 'No, I am afraid it does not. What land are we in?'

She shook her head, seeming disbelieving. 'A land an ocean and at least two thousand years away from Middle Earth.'

There was a stunned silence. Frodo was the one who broke it. 'Wh- what did you say?'

The girl looked at him mournfully. 'It's been centuries since the War of the Ring ended.' She smacked herself on the head. 'What am I saying? I can't tell you what happens!' She sighed. 'But I have to. The Fellowship has passed down into legend. Bilbo's book-'

Frodo interrupted. 'How do you know about Bilbo?'

'Just listen, okay?' She snapped. 'Bilbo's book was published all over the world. It's a classic. And the entire story of the Ring, and the War, and the passing of the third age- it's all been written down. Most of the world has read about it. There's even a freaking movie!

'But nobody thinks it's real. Nobody thinks that it actually happened. Well, I do, and Tolkien did, sort of, but then, I'm a freak. . . .'

There was a silence as the girl seemed to be deep in thought. Suddenly she shook her head and looked up. She slapped her cheek.

'Where are my manners?' She asked, smiling. 'My name is Annalise Huggins, but please, call me Ann. I welcome the Fellowship to my home.' She bowed deeply. As she straightened, she turned businesslike. 'Now then, what can I get you? Drinks? Fresh clothes? A bath?'

'Food!' Cried Pippin. Annalise laughed and motioned them towards the kitchenette.

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SOME HOURS LATER. . . . (during which the hobbits consume much of Ann's food, and she explains some things)

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'Now then,' Said Annalise as the hobbits finished eating. 'You can't be wandering around in those outfits.'

'Why not?' Asked Merry plaintively. 'I like my clothes.'

'Hmm..... Well, here, take a look at me.' She stood and spun, then sat down again. 'Now think about it. Would any of the women in your time wear this?' She gestured to her hip-hugging flare jeans and form-fitting blue t-shirt.

'Well....' Said Merry reluctantly 'No, I suppose not.'

'Exactly. Luckily for you, I think I know where to get you all some appropriate clothing!'

This was said in such a cheerfully perky way that the entire fellowship groaned in anticipation. 

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	2. Chapter 2 Mall Rats

CHAPTER 2  
  


The shopping trip plan was surprisingly simple. In fact, there was no need for the Fellowship to come along. Annalise took their measurements and headed out the door for the mall on Fifth Avenue. 

Annalise slammed the car door shut and turned around to lock it behind her- then stopped and goggled at the back seat.

"What in-" She stopped herself, remembering that they wouldn't understand her. 'What the blazes are you doing in there?' She asked.

Pippin rolled down the window. 'Oh, Ann,' he said plaintively. 'We wanted to see the rest of town. And then, naturally, Gandalf insisted that someone come with us and keep us out of trouble.' He beamed angelically at her, as if he could never cause trouble.

Ann glanced accusingly at Aragorn, sitting nonchalantly in the corner. 'You let them get away with this?' She gestured to the four hobbits spread along the back seat. Something occurred to her. 'Oh god, you brought your sword, didn't you?'

Aragorn drew out his sword. It rang slightly as it came out of the sheath. 'Of course I did! I have sworn to protect Frodo. If he is coming here, then so shall I.'

Annalise buried her face in her hands, muttering, "Dear God, why me?"

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It was lucky for everyone that the Renaissance Faire was going on at the time. Aragorn didn't get nearly as many odd looks as one would expect- most people simply assumed he was a performer. The hobbits were another matter.

"Omigod, you look kinda like Elijah Wood, didja know that?" Asked one particularly ditzy girl.

Frodo blinked and looked at Ann for translation. He could understand the language a little, but not enough to respond. 

Ann sighed inaudibly and told the girl, "My nephews don't speak English very well. They're from- pssh, where was it again? Oh yes, Germany."

"Oh," said the girl, twirling a blonde curl. "They don't look German."

"Yeah, well, y'know..... yeah." ::Real articulate, Ann, reeeal articulate::

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'Aha! Here we are! The Gap.'

'The Gap? Such as, the Gap of Rohan?' Asked Aragorn, puzzled

'Well, not exactly,' replied Ann. 'It's a clothing store- er, like a tailors- oh, you'll see.'

They entered the store with many odd looks from the clientele- the rest of the mall may have been forgiving, but the Gap customers were more suspicious. Annalise wisely drew out her Visa, and everyone decided that she wasn't a threat.

She threaded her way through the store, picking out khakis and several plain, button up shirts, along with a few plain polo shirts. She paid and hustled them out.

'Now then, off to Gap Kids!' She said. She was in her element.

'Kids?' Complained Sam. 'None of us are kids!'

Ann sighed. 'I know, Sam, but think about it. Did you see anything in that store that would fit you?'

'Er....'

'That's what I thought. Now come on, Gap Kids.'

Four pairs of khakis were easy to find, but the shirts were harder. Frodo picked up a t-shirt curiously.

'What does this say?'

'Er- Big Dog.'

'What?'

'Don't ask- long story.'

Finally, Ann took her purchases to the counter and payed. Her five companions breathed a sigh of relief.

'Wait! One more store.'

They groaned. Annalise, however, would not be moved from her own quest, and shepherded them over to the escalators. After ten minutes of confusion as Ann explained to the hobbits how to use the moving staircases, they were finally at the correct floor. She lead the way to the Body Shop.

She bustled about picking out hair-care products when she noticed the absence of Merry and Pippin wreaking havoc. She turned around to see the five men milling about outside the store.

"Could you hold these for me, please?" Ann asked the sales clerk. She marched outside.

'What do you think you're doing, hanging around out here?'

'Well.....' Said Aragorn, searching for the right words.

'It's a girl's shop!' Exclaimed Merry indignantly. 'We can't go in there! Someone might see us!'

It was all Annalise could do not to crack up. Her voice trembled with stifled laughter as she said, 'Who is there here who knows you?'

'Umm....'

'Look, just go sit on the benches and I'll be right out. Then we can go get some Dippin' Dots, 'kay?' She strode back into the shop.

The five out-of-place characters stared at each other. Finally, Aragorn broke the silence. 'Dippin' Dots? I do not like the sound of these words.....'

'Well, I do!' Said Pippin. 'Sounds like food to me, eh, Merry?'

'Okay, you guys, let's go!' Said Samantha, coming out of the store.

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'Now, you can each have a small, any flavor you like,' She explained at the Dippin' Dots counter. 'Only one small! There's chocolate, mint, mint chocolate, vanilla, banana split, and strawberry.'

"Dude," remarked the guy behind the counter. "What language is that? It, like, sounds totally weird."

"Um, it's German." She turned back to the hobbits- Aragorn seemed singularly uninterested in the ice cream. 'So, guys, what flavor?'

They glanced at each other, then ordered, hesitantly. Sam decided to play it safe and get a flavor he was familiar with- strawberry. Frodo decided that Sam had the right idea and ordered mint.

'Merry? Pippin? What do you want?'

'Chocolate!' said Pippin perkily.

'Um... Vanilla!' Said Merry.

Ann turned to the counter. "A small chocolate, a small vanilla, and a small mint chocolate. That's all on the same bill."

The serving guy took his time dishing up the ice cream, then (equally slowly) rang up the purchase. "That'll be fifteen dollars."

Annalise paid and handed the hobbits their treat. 'Cheers!'

They dug in together. Frodo was hesitant about putting the food in his mouth, but Sam, Merry and Pippin dove into it with gusto.

Pippin gasped as the ice cream melted on his tongue. 'This... this is....'

Annalise laughed at the amazed and happy expressions on the hobbits' faces.

'I know,' She grinned. She noticed that Aragorn had drifted closer.

'Strider, would you like some?'

'Er-' Said the Ranger.

'Come on! It's very tasty.'

'We-ell. . . .'

He had opened his mouth just far enough that Ann was able to sneak her spoon in. He swallowed involuntarily. The hobbits laughed at his consternation. Slowly it changed into wonder.

'What is this flavor?'

'Chocolate mint. Like it?'

Aragorn couldn't respond- he was busy stealing the remaining ice cream in her cup. Ann laughed. 'Take it, then. I can get it anytime.'

As Aragorn finished eating and began apologizing, they walked back towards the parking lot.

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	3. Chapter 3 Hygiene and Shirtless Men

CHAPTER 3  
  


When they got home, Annalise dragged her bags into her room. She disinterred the Body Shop bag and marched into the kitchenette with it, calling for the Fellowship to come into the small room.

'What are these potions?' Asked Boromir, puzzled. He picked up a bottle of shampoo.

'These,' replied Annalise, 'are to clean your g- your hair.' She was tempted to add "greasy," but she decide it would be a bad idea to anger the Man with the big sword. 'No one outside of Middle Earth lets their hair look like yours. I mean, you have a-' Again, she stopped, wondering if there was a word for "mullet." 'Anyway, I'm washing your hair.' She eyed Gimli critically. 'And possibly giving you a trim as well.'

Gimli practically growled. 'If you think that you're about to cut my beard. . . .' He let the threat hang. 

'No, I think the beard can stay- I'm certainly in no position to make you part with it. But will you at least let me trim it, so it looks better-?'

Gimli considered. 'All right,' he grumbled finally. 'But only because I have no wish to draw unfriendly eyes.'

"No comment," she muttered.

Annalise had the hobbits wash their hair first, making sure they used the shampoo and not her shaving cream. She also trusted Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf to be able to take care of themselves- although she was careful to explain conditioning to the wizard and the ranger. She thought the elf might know more about hair care than she did. Then she turned to Gimli and Boromir.

'Boromir,' she ordered. 'You first.' 

The warrior of Gondor stepped reluctantly forward. He towered over this girl, physically, but she could be intimidating if she wanted to be. She reached up and ran a hand through his hair, tsking. 

"Hmm. . . " She said to herself. "I'll need the extra-strength shampoo, two cleanings. . . Definitely conditioner. . . . A-a-and. . ." She debated attempting to trim Boromir's split ends and decided it wasn't worth it. She motioned him over to the sink, and was about to turn on the shower-head faucet. Then it occurred to her that the water might ruin his clothes (even more than they already were ruined).

'You might want to take off your shirt, unless you don't mind getting it wet.' Boromir shrugged and took off the velvet shirt.

It hadn't occurred to Ann until that moment that she would have a muscle-bound man standing shirtless in her kitchenette. She stuttered.

'Umm. . . . Here, sit down.' She pulled a chair up to the sink and leaned him back, draping a towel over him to keep him as dry (and covered) as possible. After fifteen minutes, she thought the job was done, and handed him a towel to dry his hair off with. Then she called Gimli in.

She repeated the procedure, with the slight omission of the shirt removal- she decided she had been shocked enough by the sight of the Man, no need to do her nervous system more damage with the Dwarf. When she was done, she trimmed his hair a few inches, with some difficulty. Gimli was far from happy with his new hairstyle, but he endured.

As she finished, Frodo came down the hallway with a large towel wrapped around his waist. 'Er. . . .'

Ann slapped her forehead. 'Just a moment, I'll go get your new clothes. Gimli, I'm done.'

As she ran down the hallway to her room, Gimli stood and brushed himself off. He glanced at Frodo, who was grinning at the sight of Gimli's somewhat shortened beard. He snorted, in Rhovannion, 'Women!'

Annalise came rushing back down the hallway. 'Frodo, can you call the rest into the kitchen, so I can hand out clothes? There should be plenty of towels for the people who took baths.' She paused, remembering how traumatized she was by Boromir. 'Er, who took baths?'

'Let's see, just the hobbits, I think. Gandalf and Aragorn just washed their hair in the well.'

'Well? Oh, the sink. All right, what about Legolas?'

'I think he bathed, too.'

'Umm, how about you take him his clothes. Send the others in, though.'

Frodo nodded, though puzzled, while Gimli chuckled knowingly.

As Frodo trotted down the hall, Ann handed Gimli his clothes and considered. Was she missing something? Ah, yes- Legolas and Gandalf's hair. "Why did everyone back then have long hair?" She mused, finger combing her own lengthy, blue-highlighted tresses. "Awfully inconvenient if they're gonna come to this century." She sat up, her brain finally registering the facts. "Wait- how did they come to this century? Wha- thmm. . . ." She sank into a reverie, tracing the pattern on the counter tiles.

'Miss Ann?' She looked down as a small hand tugged at her sleeve.

'Miss Ann, we're all ready,' said Sam. 'Can you hurry? It's a bit chilly.'

She laughed. 'It is Alaska. All right, here.'

She began handing them clothes, rummaging through the bags. She began humming, then singing. "She's a rich girl, she don't try to hide it, diamonds on the soles of her shoes. . . He's a poor boy . . ."

'What are you singing?'

Annalise looked up from the bag she was rummaging through. Legolas was standing over her, curious.

She smiled and continued singing in Westron. '. . .He's a poor boy, empty as a pocket, empty as a pocket with nothing to lose.' 

'It- well, the song is like nothing in my time. Does it tell a story?'

'Not exactly. The songs that people write in the last century or so are more- well, love ballads, I suppose. They tell about how much they love a person, or how they miss that person, now that he or she is gone. But some songs are more like stories. This one is about a man and a woman meeting and falling in love - I mean, not exactly, but that's close. You know what? You Nine might like American Pie.'

'American Pie. . .' Murmured Legolas, tasting the words. 'What is that about?'

'It's more symbolic, really. It tells the story of a generation.' She began singing from the beginning, in English. Soon Legolas was joining in on the chorus, though he didn't quite understand what he was saying. 

As Annalise neared the end, she realized that Legolas wasn't the only person joining in on the chorus. Aragorn, Frodo, and Sam were singing along, as well. As they finished, grinning, she laughed. 'I think you'll fit in pretty well.'

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	4. Chapter 4 The Rider

CHAPTER 4  
  


That night, Ann introduced the Fellowship to television, translating the news as necessary.

Then came the report that needed no translation.

As the commercials came on, an "Anchorage's Most Wanted" ad came up.

"If anyone can give information to the whereabouts of this individual, please call. . . . ." A number followed. A shot of a black horse with a black-cloaked rider flashed onscreen.

Frodo cried out and grabbed at the chain around his neck. Aragorn and Gandalf leaped up. The rest simply stared at the screen, dumbstruck.

'What,' asked Ann slowly, 'is a Nazgúl doing here?' She turned to look at Gandalf.

Gandalf sat down, distress in every line of his face. 'I- we were being pursued by a Rider when I uttered a spell to move us to a safe place. It brought us here. Either I miscalculated the spell, or. . . .'

'Or what?' Asked Ann.

'Or the enemy followed us.'

Frodo was staring wide-eyed at the wizard, and Sam had rushed over to his master. 'Followed us? Here?'

'I prefer to think that I did not do the spell correctly.'

'Hmm. . . It does seem more likely,' said Aragorn. 'If the Enemy could follow us, even to this place, I believe he would have sent more than a single rider to stop us.'

'Yeah. . .' mused Annalise. 'That seems more his style.' She looked up. 'But that doesn't change the fact that there is a Black Rider roaming around Anchorage.' She stared Gandalf in the eye. 'What are we going to do about it?'

'We?' Broke in Boromir, eyebrows raised. 'You mean to help us?'

Ann sighed. 'Gandalf says that the spell was designed to bring you to a safe place. Right?'

Gandalf nodded, intrigued.

'And it brought you here. So it follows that this is a safe place.'

Gandalf sat up, eyes bright. 'I begin to see what you're driving at.'

Annalise nodded. 'So if this is a safe place, then I'm kind of obligated to help.' She smiled. 'Besides, what kind of fan-girl would I be if I passed up a chance to go on a quest?'

Aragorn and Gandalf were unsurprised. But the rest of the Fellowship, especially the hobbits, were startled. This girl, who they had looked on with amusement and occasionally disdain, suddenly seemed to be like an elf-warrior, proud and fierce.

Sam suddenly exclaimed. 'Miss, I never thought that a hobbit could go on a dangerous quest. Well, Master Frodo is proving me wrong there. And now, you're proving to me that a woman can go on dangerous quests too.' Then he blushed. 'Begging your pardon, Miss.'

Ann laughed. 'Don't worry, Sam. You seem to be ahead of your time.'

She turned back to Aragorn and Gandalf. 'Now then, what are we going to do about the Rider?'

Aragorn and Gandalf glanced at each other, then Gandalf spoke. 'We know only a little of your time. I think you would be better able to formulate a plan.'

Her eyes widened. 'Me?'

The Fellowship, seeing Gandalf's logic, all nodded firmly.

She shook her head. 'Well, all right.' She looked around. 'I think my first step is to get armed. All the hobbits have weapons, right?' The hobbits nodded. 'Then that only leaves me.' She thought for a minute. Then a grin spread slowly over her face. 'I know just the place.'

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	5. Chapter 5 More Introductions

CHAPTER 5  
  


'I have been wondering about that object,' remarked Boromir as Ann picked up the phone. 'What does it do?'

Ann sighed as she considered. 'It's the closest thing we have to a palantíri - something for talking over a distance.' She dialed and put the phone to her ear.

Ring . . . Ring . . . "Ee-yello?"

"Kathryn?"

"Ann?"

"Yup. Hey, listen, I've got a - um, a situation over here."

"What sort of situation?"

"Well, it's standing in my living room right now. Hold on a sec, lemme put you on speaker-phone." She pushed a button and hung up the receiver. "Kathryn? Can you hear me?"

"Loud and clear," came the tinny reply. The Fellowship gasped in shock. Ann grinned at them and put a finger to her lips.

"Anyway, Kathryn, like I was saying, I've got some people over here - "

The voice cut her off. "Do they have a Glasgow accent?"

Ann laughed. "Sort of. Kathryn, the Fellowship is standing in my room. All Nine of them. And" - she hurried on, cutting off whatever the voice's reply was - "they are all living breathing people."

A snort came from the speaker. "Right. The Fellowship? You've been reading too much fan-fiction."

"Kathryn, I swear on every deity, the Fellowship is standing here listening to us talk."

"Right," said the voice sarcastically. "And I'm the queen of England," it added in Elvish.

Ann blinked and turned to the Fellowship. 'What did she say?'

Legolas translated, adding, 'I didn't know you knew a queen.'

'I don't, it's an expression.'

"Ann?" Interjected the voice. "What're you saying? And who're you talking to?"

"That's what I've been trying to explain, Kathryn. I was speaking, in Westron - got that?Westron - to Legolas. Legolas, Kathryn."

There was a pregnant pause from the other end. Finally, the voice said slowly, "I'm still not sure I believe you."

Ann sighed. "Look, you don't have to believe me right now, okay? Just - okay, I'm gonna come over there in a few, and I'll bring these guys over with me. We've got a lot to talk about. So don't go anywhere, got it?"

"Sounds good. Namarië."

"Namarië." Ann answered, then pushed another button on the phone. She gave a deep sigh, as if she had been holding her breath, then turned around to face the Fellowship. They were staring at her. 'What?'

'I thought you said you didn't know Elvish,' Frodo explained.

'I don't. I mean, I know namarië because Kathryn taught it to me last week.' When the men still gazed at her suspiciously, she shook her head, resigned. 'Look, let's go bundle into the car.' As she led the way upstairs to the ground floor, she shook her head. "Oy . . . ."

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Annalise rang the doorbell and turned to her nine companions. 'All right, Kathryn is a little hyper sometimes. But she's really nice. Just- well. . . Anyway, she'll probably recognize you. If you want to talk to her in Elvish, she'll probably understand. She speaks it fluently.'

They heard muffled footsteps and they looked at the door. Merry leaned over to Pippin and whispered, 'What does "hyper" mean?' Pippin shrugged.

The door opened. The girl standing in the doorway was rather taller than Annalise. She had flaming red hair, pulled back into a high ponytail. She was dressed in a T-shirt with a large sun logo on it and black jeans. 

"Okay, Ann, let's meet you're so called 'Fellowship'." She made quotation marks in the air.

Ann smiled. "Well, Kathryn, I've got some friends to introduce you to. Actually, you kinda already know them." She turned around and gestured to the Nine. "May I introduce the Fellowship of the Ring."

Kathryn blinked- and then the words hit her. Her mouth dropped open, and she stared at the figures in front of her. "They- they're-" She turned to Annalise. "Are these the actors?"

"Is Elijah Wood three and half feet tall?" 

Kathryn turned back to them. "Are you- real?"

They nodded. She gasped. "You are real! Oh my God-" Then she shook herself and bowed."Elen síla lúmenn omentilmo."

Legolas leapt forward. 'You speak Sindarin flawlessly! How?'

"Legolas? I'm sorry, I don't know any Westron."

Ann translated. Legolas shook his head and began speaking in Elvish. Kathryn's face brightened and she began to speak animatedly back.

After a few minutes, Ann tapped Legolas on the shoulder. 'Sorry, Legolas, but we need to take care of business first. Then you two can talk each other's ears off.' Legolas nodded unwillingly.

Kathryn led the ten into the house, turning sideways to let them in. To the Fellowship's astonishment, she was clearly pregnant.

"So, Ann, what's the deal?" Asked Kathryn, not noticing the stares of the men.

"Well . . ." Replied the shorter girl. "You might wanna sit down for this."

Kathryn shrugged and obliged. "Okay, I'm sitting. What's the deal?"

Ann took a deep breath and blurted, "There's a Black Rider on the loose."

Kathryn stared. "You're joking, right?"

"No joke. It was on Anchorage's Most Wanted last night."

Kathryn ran a hand through her hair. "A Nazgúl?" She swore. And swore some more. Kathryn was a linguist, so swearing was something she could do in rather a lot of languages.

"Kathryn! Please! Watch your languages - all thirty of them. There are virgin ears among us." Ann gestured at the Fellowship, staring at Kathryn in shock.

'That girl has a mouth on her that would make an Orc's ears bleed!' Gimli whispered to Sam. The Hobbit nodded, mouth agape.

Kathryn nodded sheepishly at the Fellowship. "Sorry, I forgot. Is that all?"

Ann shook her head. "Not quite. For starters, the most pressing need is space. I can't keep all Nine of them in my apartment, after all."

"True enough."

"And also, I need some weaponry, in case we have to go out looking for that Rider."

"But of course. Shall we get the guys settled and then pick out some sharp shiny things for you?"

Ann grinned. "You bet."

Kathryn beckoned to the Fellowship and led them through the house to their rooms, explaining as she went. "The hobbits can have my sisters' room, since they live with Mom now. There's bunk beds in there. Aragorn and Boromir can share one of the guestrooms" - Ann cut her off, grinning.

"The one with two beds, not the one with the double."

Kathryn swatted the shorter girl. "Quiet you. And get your mind out of the gutter!"

"But it's comfortable down here . . ." Muttered Ann, smirking.

Kathryn continued, ignoring her friend. "Gandalf can have the other guestroom. We can put Gimli down in the basement - that should be cave like enough for him. And Legolas can have the room across from mine." When she caught Ann's accusing stare, she got defensive. "What? It's nice and airy up there, and if he wants to, he can sleep on the balcony. And what did I tell you about the gutter?" By now, all the men had been shown to their rooms in Kathryn's spacious three story house. They had arranged their things and were now exploring the house.

Ann smiled - until a thought struck her. "Wait, what about your - ahem - LOTR stuff? We can't let them see all of it."

"Hmm, you're right," mused Kathryn. She snapped her fingers. "I know! We'll lock it in the safe downstairs."

Ann nodded in satisfaction. "Perfect. Let's not tell the guys about . . . ."

And then, from downstairs, there arose a clatter of weapons being drawn and a few cries of fear. Both of them sprang towards the noise to see what was the matter. When they reached the living room, they found the Fellowship, weapons drawn, staring at one of Kathryn's paintings of an Orc. Both rushed about for a frenzied few seconds, convincing the warriors that it was only a painting and no threat. When they finished, Kathryn glanced over at Ann with a barely concealed smile.

"And now the fun begins."

"Oh, yes . . . ."


	6. Chapter 6 Pizza

The sun wasn't setting, but that was only logical, since it was Alaska in the summertime. Kathryn and Ann had locked away Kathryn's numerous Lord of the Rings paraphernalia, and had decided to relax in her den for a few minutes.

Kathryn groaned slightly as she lowered herself into an armchair and put her feet up. "Ann, pregnancy is hell. I don't recommend it. Adopt."

Ann laughed as she seated herself at Kathryn's iMac and opened up the Internet. Humming to herself, she typed into the address bar.

"Ach! No new reviews. Eh well." She clicked on Favorites and opened up a story. "Hey Kathryn, guess what I'm reading."

"Smut."

"Close. I'll give you a hint: Mr. Froooodooooo!"

"Oh, for the love 'a schnikie!"

They laughed as Ann continued to read aloud. Their idyll was broken by a sharp crash and a 'Now look what you've done!' from downstairs.

Ann rolled her eyes. "Sounds like the boys are up to their tricks again." She helped Kathryn out of her chair and they trundled downstairs.

The dulcet tones of arguing hobbits floated towards them from the living room. Ann poked her head around the door. 'Guys? What happened?'

Sam, busy looking at the books on the shelves in wonder, jerked a thumb over his shoulder and said, 'They broke something.' 

Merry and Pippin were arguing over the shattered remains of a porcelain dragon. They looked up guiltily.

'It's all Pippin's fault!'

'It's not my fault! I thought it was real!'

'That's because you're a wooly-pated fool!'

'Am not!'

'Oh, don't start that . . . .'

Kathryn came into the room and cried out. "My dragon! For the love of schnikie!" She gazed sadly down at the chips of porcelain before turning a death-glare on the unfortunate hobbits.

'Oooooo-kay,' intervened Ann before someone came to grievous bodily harm. 'When people start getting this cranky, I know it's time for some food.'

Everyone looked up at the word food. The Men and older members of the Fellowship tried to look only mildly interested, but the Hobbits were unabashedly excited.

'Yes! We're hungry!'

Ann looked up at Kathryn, face twitching with the effort of not laughing. "They're hungry. What a surprise."

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Oi think so, Brain, but 'ow're we gonna get flippah's onna goat?"

"Very funny. I was thinking . . . . pizza."

Ann grinned finally, giving her face a break. "Pizza sounds real good right about now."

"You get orders, I'll call."

"Sounds good." She turned to the Fellowship. 'Okay, gang, we're going to order some food called pizza. I think you'll like it. We'll get some with mushrooms' - there was a loud cheer from the Hobbits, and a noise of approval from Gimli - 'but we need to know if you guys want anything else.'

'What else is there?' Asked Boromir curiously.

'Well . . . .' Ann began running down a list of possible pizza toppings, until finally Aragorn held up a hand to stem the flow of words.

'No more! I think that meat will agree with all of us. Do as you wish - we trust you.'

"And I thought you guys were smart . . ."

'What?'

'Nothing, nothing. . . .'

* * *

A/N: I'll make this quick. Thanks to Summer Skye for nagging me, putting up with me, and helping me. Thanks to the reviewers for the positive reviews. 

For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, 'Single apostrophes' mean Westron unless otherwise noted, while "Quotation marks" mean English, unless otherwise noted.

See ya next chappie!


	7. Chapter 7 A Chapter of Song

After Kathryn placed the order for pizza, she and Ann sat down in the kitchen to talk. Ann pulled the newpaper sitting on the table towards her and began scanning it idly. Idly, that is, until something caught her eye.

Aragorn and Legolas walked into the kitchen where Ann and Kathryn were talking at the table. 

"That would be nice, Ann. But there's one problem." 

"What's that?" 

"The Fellowship. I don't think we could take them to an off-Broadway show. I mean, they wouldn't understand half the show, let alone trying to make the hobbits stay still for three hours." 

'What are you two talking about?' Aragorn asked. 

'We were considering going to see a show on Saturday,' Ann explained. 

'What's it called?' Legolas asked. 

'The Phantom of the Opera,' Ann answered. 

'What's it about?' Aragorn wanted to know. 

'It's about a man who lives in an Opera House in Paris around the turn of the century. He is called the Opera Ghost. He sang, wrote music, and played musical instruments. It's a very famous show.'

Kathryn interjected, "Hey, Ann, why don't we give them a taste of the show." 

Ann grinned and cracked her fingers. "Music of the Night?" 

Kathryn nodded, and they trooped downstairs to the piano. Kathryn took up a position next to the beautiful grand as Ann played the introduction. The redhead closed her eyes and swayed softly in time with the music, until she finally opened her mouth and let her soprano voice mingle with the notes that Ann played.   
  


Nighttime sharpens 

Heightens each sensation 

Darkness wakes and 

Stirs imagination 

Silently the senses 

Abandon their defenses 

Helpless to resist the notes I write 

For I compose the Music of the Night  
  


The hobbits walked into the dining room, curious. Unwilling to disturb the performance, they sat quietly in front of the piano. Boromir, Gandalf, and Gimli trickled in the door as Kathryn continued to sing.   
  


Slowly, gently 

Night unfurls its splendour 

Grasp it, sense it -- 

Tremulous and tender 

Hearing is believing 

Music is deceiving 

Hard as lightning, soft as candlelight 

Dare you trust the Music of the Night?  
  


Kathryn opened her eyes for a moment and smiled as she saw the hobbits for once sitting quietly. As the lyrics continued, she matched word to action.  
  


Close your eyes 

For your eyes will only tell the truth 

And the truth isn't what you want to see

In the dark it is easy to pretend 

That truth is what it ought to be. 

Softly, deftly, 

Music shall caress you 

Hear it, fear it 

Secretly possess you. 

Open up your mind, 

Let your fantasies unwind 

In this darkness, which you know you cannot fight 

The darkness of the Music of the Night. 

Close your eyes 

Start a journey through a 

Strange, new world! 

Leave all thoughts 

Of the world you knew before! 

Close your eyes 

And let music set you free 

Only then can you belong to me 

Floating, falling, 

Sweet intoxication! 

Touch me, trust me,

Savour each sensation!

Let the dream begin, 

Let your darker side give in 

To the power of music that I write- 

The power of the Music of the Night!   
  


She paused as Ann played an instrumental, opening her eyes as if coming out of a trance. She smiled at the Fellowship, who were gazing at her in rapt attention. Ann gave a small nod, and Kathryn came back in.  
  


You alone 

Can you make my song take flight- 

Help me make the 

Music of the Night!   
  


She held that note for eleven four counts, taking a huge breath at the end and breaking the spell. The Fellowship applauded. 

'Kathryn, that was beautiful. Where did you learn that?' Aragorn asked. 

'It's part of the Phantom of the Opera. The show we were telling you about,' she replied in Elvish. 

'If you're willing to sit still for a few hours. We might consider bringing you with us,' Ann said mischievously. 

'Please!' the hobbits said with puppy-dog eyes. Ann looked at Kathryn. Kathryn nodded.

'All right, you guys,' said Ann briskly. 'If we're going to go, we'll need to go shopping tomorrow. So keep that in mind.'

Aragorn groaned. He remembered well the first shopping trip. But his face brightened at the thought of Dippin' Dots.

The Fellowship slowly dispersed around the house again, since the pizza still hadn't come. The sound of the piano continued to float through the rooms as Ann distractedly played Fur Elise.

Boromir sat down beside her. 'What do you call this instrument?'

'A piano. Really, it's Kathryn's, but she doesn't play it much.'

'What music do you play?'

'What music have you heard from this age?' She countered. Boromir shrugged. 'Well, we'll just have to introduce you to some, won't we.'

She reached into a basket filled with sheet music and pulled out a few books. Boromir scanned through them, fascinated. He picked out a green book and held it up.

'What's this?'

'It's a group of - minstrels - called the Beatles,' Ann explained, taking it back and flipping through it herself. 'Let's see, what to play . . . . Aha!' She set the book on the stand of the piano, ran through a scale to warm up, and started playing.

Legolas and Kathryn walked into the room from opposite sides, both with books in their hands. They looked up when they heard music playing. Ann started singing, unaware of her new 

audience.  


Love, love, love,

Love, love, love,

Love, love, love,

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.

Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.

Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game,

It's easy!  
  


Legolas and Kathryn locked gazes. Kathryn blushed as butterflies filled her stomach, like they did every time she looked at the elf.  
  


There's nothing you can make that can't be made.

No one you can save that can't be saved.

Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time,

It's easy!  
  


Legolas couldn't help it. He'd been in love before, and he recognized all the signs. But why was he falling in love with this woman? Pregnant by another man, mortal, not even from his own time.  
  


All you need is love!

All you need is love!

All you need is love, love, 

Love is all you need.  
  


Love, love, love,

Love, love, love,

love, love, love  
  


All you need is love! 

All you need is love!

All you need is love, love,

Love is all you need.  
  


They moved towards the center of the room, meeting there.  
  


There's nothing you can know that isn't known,

Nothing you can see that isn't shown,

Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be,

It's easy!  
  


Is this where I'm meant to be? Wondered Legolas, taking Kathryn's hands.

All you need is love!  
  


It's true. All I need is love, thought Kathryn, smiling at Legolas.  
  


All you need is love!  
  


And all my baby needs is love, she thought.  
  


All you need is love, love,

Love is all you need.  
  


All you need is love!

All you need is love!

All you need is love, love,

Love is all you need.

Love is all you need.

Love is all you need.  
  


And yet again, another Elf pledged himself to a mortal's life, and a woman pledged her broken heart to another man, as they kissed.

* * *

A/N: Ah, a chapter of song. Again, thanks to Summer and all our readers. I heartily dislike stories that go on for more than about ten chapters, so I'm gonna try and wrap this up pretty quick. 

Obligatory plead for feedback, and we'll see you next chapter, same Bat time, same Bat channel.


	8. Chapter 8 Elven Love

The kiss of an elf can do funny things to you. Kathryn woke the next morning gently, feeling refreshed. She had gotten the best night of sleep she'd had in months - what with morning sickness and a restless baby and not being able to get comfortable. But last night -

Then she remember what else had happened last night. Her lips curled up involuntarily in a smile at the memory of Legolas's sweet kiss - but then the smile disappeared as the elf himself came into the room. Kathryn sat up in bed, suddenly very conscious of her messy hair and wrinkled PJ's. 

"Legolas," she said in Elvish, embarrassed, "what happened last evening -"

The elf smiled and sat down on the bed next to her. Kathryn got butterflies in her stomach and her heart sped up.

"What happened last evening was love," said Legolas.

Kathryn blinked. "How can you know?"

"I have lived the lifetimes of many men," replied Legolas, "and had loves in them. I recognize when my heart has been stolen away. Love at first sight is no less true than love that grows over many years."

Kathryn stared at him, mouth agape. "You mean . . .?"

"Yes."

And no more words were necessary.

**************************************************************************************

Ann, downstairs, was pacing nervously. Gimli was sharpening his axe in the kitchen, also antsy. Finally he looked up and snapped at Ann, 'Will you stop that pacing?'

Ann flumped into a chair and ran her hand through her hair. 'Sorry. I'm just - nervous, I guess.' She examined the hair stuck between her fingers. 'Sheez, I'm losing hair over this.'

'Over what?'

'That Black Rider. I've hardly heard anything about him, which suggests he's off hiding somewhere. But where could he hide? He's a freaking Názgul!' She shook her head. 'And here's me and Kathryn, talking about taking you nine to Phantom of the Opera. What are we thinking?'

'I don't know, what are you thinking?'

'Oh, hush, dwarf.'

'Hmph! That's nice.' Gimli got up and left in a huff. Ann rolled her eyes. Note to self, she thought, Fellowship does not react to jokes the same way your friends do. What a shocker.

She got up and pulled open the fridge - and stared in shock. Kathryn usually kept a neat refrigerator - but having four hobbits in a house will ruin the best laid plans of mice and men. The fridge was a mess, and yet, practically empty.

'I'm surprised they didn't try the baking soda,' she muttered.

'Which is the baking soda?' Piped a Scottish accent from behind her. She turned. It was Pippin.

'That's the baking soda,' Ann replied, pointing.

'Oh.' Pippin examined the orange box. 'I think Merry tried that.'

Ann rolled her eyes. "Hobbits. Kathryn?" She yelled up the stairs.

"What?" Came the muffled reply.

"I'm gonna go to the store, wanna come?"

"What?"

Ann sighed and went halfway up the stairs. "I'm going to the store!"

"Oh, okay, be right down."

"Geez," muttered Ann, as she grabbed her coat. "What this house needs is an intercom."

**************************************************************************************

Forty-five minutes later, after finally collecting the Fellowship (Kathryn refused to leave them alone with her computer or kitchen) and piling into Kathryn and Ann's respective cars, they arrived at the grocery store. While Kathryn stood in line at the pharmacy, Ann did some much needed grocery shopping with the Fellowship not far behind, cruising the aisles looking for food and other necessary things such as light bulbs, paper towels, toilet paper, and batteries. 

Meanwhile Kathryn was looking up and down the aisles for her friend and charges. Coming up the aisle was a tall blonde man with gray eyes. Kathryn froze, then turned around, but it was too late. He had seen her. 

"Kathryn!" He called. Kathryn ignored him and walked away as fast as she could, but he caught her arm and gripped her arm tightly. 

"Let me go, Scott," she said. Her voice could have frozen anti-freeze. 

"No, you're carrying my kid. I want to see him when he's born." 

"Like hell you will!" Snapped Kathryn. "You're coming nowhere near me or my son!" 

Scott tightened his grip on Kathryn's arm. She yelped. It was lucky for her that Legolas came around the corner with Ann. 

"Scott, let her go!" Ann shouted angrily. Scott looked at Legolas and released Kathryn. Kathryn went to Legolas' protective arms. 

"So . . ." Mused Scott, gazing at Legolas with narrowed eyes. "You've found another man to take care of you. Where'd you seduce this guy? Some gay bar?"

"Watch yourself, Scott," warned Ann. "You know there's a restraining order on you."

Scott ignored her completely. "Let me tell you something Kathryn - You are never gonna keep me away from my own kid. I doubt this pansy will be much help for you."

Legolas lurched forward, but Kathryn grabbed his shoulder before he could do anything. 'Legolas, don't!' Kathryn cried in Elvish. 'He's a waste of oxygen.' She pulled at his sleeve. 'Come on, let's go home before I kill someone.' She, Ann, and Legolas turned and left Scott behind. 

"This isn't over, Kathryn!" Scott called behind them.

But his threat fell on deaf ears. Kathryn and her companions were already heading out of the store and towards the cars. 

"Ann, can you take a couple more people in your car? In my present state I might kill everyone," Kathryn said, pulling out her keys. "By the way, do you have your cell phone?" she asked. Ann nodded and pulled the phone out of her purse. 

"Who you gonna call?" she asked. 

"Ghostbusters," answered Kathryn, dripping sarcasm. "I'm calling the cops. Duh." 

'Ann, what's Kathryn doing?' Aragorn asked curiously. 

'She's calling the authorities, to tell them about the man she encountered,' Ann answered as she pulled out of the parking lot. 

"Officer Michael Forrester please," Kathryn said. She waited and spoke again "Mike, this is Kathryn Baggnett. I ran into Scott and he touched me…… No, my arm. He violated his restraining order and threatened me. Will you pick him up?…… Thanks Mike……right……of course. After my mother you'll be the first to know……all right……yeah……Bye." She hung up the phone, and sighed. 

'Who was that?' Legolas asked. 

'He's name is Michael Forrester. He's an old friend from high school. He always looked out for me and still does. He's like my big brother.' 

'Kathryn, that man in there. Who is he?'

Ann and Kathryn exchanged glances before Kathryn answered. 'His name is Scott. He's the one who got me pregnant. I thought we were in love . . .' She trailed off. 'I guess we were in lust. He got me drunk and took advantage of me while I was intoxicated, and after that I got a court order that says he can't touch me. And since he broke the law, I've called the police to take him to prison. He'll probably try to get the courts to take my son away from me,' Kathryn explained. 

Legolas told the Fellowship what she had said. Kathryn was silent the rest of the way home. 

**************************************************************************************

Once they got back to Kathryn's house, she went upstairs and shut herself in her room. Ann told the Fellowship not to bother her, but Legolas wouldn't hear of it and without Ann knowing it he went up to Kathryn's room. 

He opened the door quietly. Kathryn was sitting in a chair by the window with her back to him. He went to her and knelt next to her. Her face was streaked with tears, and her hands were protectively clutched around her stomach. 

'Kathryn, are you all right?' She nodded, and continued to look out the window.

'Kathryn, listen to me. No matter what happens I'll never abandon you, forget you, or hurt you.' 

She turned and faced him 'Promise?' 

'I swear it.' He gently tilted her head and kissed her hair. 

Kathryn threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her gently. She kissed him sweetly on the cheek. He turned her head and kissed her on the mouth. Kathryn felt a surge of warmth run through her body - and understood what S. Morgenstern had been talking about.

She broke the kiss. 'You know, this won't work out. Our worlds are too different. You'll have to go back to Middle-Earth after that Black Rider is taken care of.' 

Legolas looked deep into Kathryn's beautiful green eyes and whispered, 'But I pledge to you that I will never love another woman - as long as I live, and beyond.'

Kathryn gazed into Legolas's clear blue eyes. She knew that that pledge meant something, coming from an immortal creature. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again.

  
  


And there we will leave them for the moment, because sometimes a little privacy is a wonderful thing. 

  
  


(Besides - it's embarrassing for us single people.)

A/N: For you poor unenlightened people, S. Morgenstern wrote iThe Princess Bride/i, later adapted by William Goldman into the wonderful movie we all know and love. Many thanks to Summer Skye for her help with this chapter.

Speaking of Summer, be sure to go check out Really Big Pencil Ltd, our joint pen name. Review please! Thank you!


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